“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” – Mary Engelbreit
The story goes that many years ago two young boys went to spend their summers at their grandparents’ farm. Every morning the two boys would set out to explore the farm with their grandfather. They visited the vegetable fields, the local produce market, the hatchery, the flower beds, the fruit orchards and finally the stables. On entering the stable one of the two brothers screamed in disgust at the piles of dung and manure, at the stench and at the hay getting stuck in his hair and clothes and ran out of the stable as fast as his legs could carry him. The second boy raced through the stable barely able to contain his excitement at the thought of finding a pony!!
The first boy felt victimized by the circumstances and tried escaping from it, the second linked the circumstances to higher possibilities – whom do you identify with?
There are two primary mindsets that we can all identify with – the first one is the Victim Mindset where a person with this mindset constantly feels victimized by his circumstances, his work pressures, his boss, his family – just about everyone and everything in his life. The victim mentality sucks the life out of innovative energy and has an excuse for every situation. Victims are addicted to complaining. They spread negative energy and want others to take on the same victim mentality that they are attached to.
The second one is the Creator mindset where the mind is constantly looking for possibilities, is sure about what it wants to achieve and goes after the outcome with single minded devotion, diligence and dedication. Not to be brought down by the situation these are people who ask themselves what they want and what they need to do to make their vision a reality.
The fundamental difference between these two types of mindsets is on where the person places their attention & focus – For victims the focus is on what they don’t want. Problems constantly preoccupy their lives and they fear the loss of control or loss of purpose.
Creators place their focus on what they do want.They keep their eyes on what they want rather than focusing on setbacks or obstacles. Often it is two steps forward and sometimes one step back. With each step the creator gets closer to and clearer about what they most want.
People who see themselves as victims feel victimized by everything – the economy, the pollution, lack of time, an illness in the family, a bad childhood…the list just goes on and on and on. Such people rarely rise to new heights in their organization. Most successful leaders have looked into the mirror, recognized a victim mindset, taken steps to shift theirs to a creator mindset and have gone on reach dizzying heights in their personal and professional lives.
If you begin to feel the victim mindset coming on make a powerful and conscious decision to ask yourself some tough questions – what did I do wrong? How am I responsible for the situation?
What outcome do I want? How do I get there? Now you are making a shift from problems and complaints to a clear goal and target. You are moving from a victim mindset to a creator mindset. This is an amazingly powerful shift – no one else in this world can do it for you – others can only point the way – the journey is yours and yours alone to make.